A food critique by Jack White
Forget everything you thought you knew about eating. Bourbonnais does not need a Chipotle, nor does it need a Five Guys or any other eating establishment, because we already have everything we will ever need wrapped into one building: Coyote Canyon.
In case you are not familiar with what will soon be your favorite restaurant, Coyote Canyon is a buffet of wide variety, conveniently located right off of Route 50. Upon entrance, you can find an eclectic collection of different foods, along with an equally impressive display of taxidermy animals, mostly their namesake: coyotes.
I had the euphoric opportunity to sit down and talk with owner and weekend manager of Coyote Canyon, Coyote Bill, to get a real feel for what Coyote Canyon is all about. I met this 6’10’’ 400lbs stew of a man in the break room over at the Canyon. He walked in wearing what he always wears: a Molly Hatchet shirt with a tweed blazer and one of those cowboy hats with a raccoon tail hanging off the back.
“I have always wanted to work in the restaurant business, but I never could pick which kind”, Coyote Bill said through his mustache. “I always like the idea of fish restaurant, but I also deeply love steak. I thought, ‘How do I mix those?’ The answer was starin’ me down like a jackrabbit in mating season: a buffet.”
Coyote Bill is all about the customer, saying “I wanted to give people an affordable option, so I figured all you could eat for $12.99. There’s also the Coyote Bill Special, just tell them you know Coyote Bill and I’ll come out and have a few tater logs with you and yours. It’ll still be $12.99”
Local Canyon enthusiasts Dan Mitchell and Sydney Hunt never miss a fun packed Friday night at the Canyon. “There’s nothing that tickles me more than suckin back 4 plate fulls of the 4rth best ribs I’ve ever had, then attacking the sundae bar,” Mitchell said. Hunt proudly proclaimed, “Seafood Friday at the Canyon has never made me sick!”
It is unfortunate that this article happened to fall on April fools because this is far from a joke. If ever there has truly been heaven on Earth, its been at Coyote Canyon. $12.99 has never been able to buy this much happiness before. So please stop by, have between 2 and 10 steaks, and tell’em Coyote Bill sent you.
—Jack White, Executive Editor