GiGi’s Corner: Coordinate teeth and dress color

Advice with spice

Dear Gigi, 

I’m going to be a junior next year. I chose my major before beginning college, stuck with it for two years because I was brainwashed into thinking I liked it, and have just now decided to take a different path. How do I break the news to my parents that they have to pay for a few more semesters of college?

Dear spoiled rotten, I would not break the news to mom and dad. Whether you are a boy or a girl, I would man up and be willing to pay for those extra semesters myself. If the comfort of your privilege blinded you for two years, perhaps the harsh reality of paying for something on your own will help you see your future more clearly. You’ve got to want it, and if you aren’t firmly invested in your life choices, you are less likely to make something of yourself. I suggest you foot the bill, not mommy and daddy.

Dear Gigi, 

I’m getting married in June, and I will be wearing a white wedding dress for the occasion. The only problem is I’m really self conscious about my yellow teeth. I’m worried that they are going to clash with my dress. However, I’ve been taught that permanently altering your appearance is a deviation from God’s plan and a sin. What should I do? Sincerely, bride to be

Dear Bride of Chucky, If those people who advised you ever wear makeup or exercise, they are liars and sinners in their own right. Furthermore, unless they plan on wedding in their sweats, they are similarly hypocritical. It’s time to ignore haughty, self-righteous Christians who mask their pompous attitudes for rooted piety. You do you. If you want a whiter smile, buy some peroxide and swish to your heart’s content. Another option is to wear a slightly off-white dress. That, however, means your groom views you as slightly impure, so… It’s your call. Cosmetics can certainly feed into vanity, but they don’t have to.

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