Church should embrace sex talk

By Rachel Kearney

Maybe Tony Campolo planned on using that joke. Maybe it just slipped. Maybe he had used that joke before and had been told to share it again. But for whatever reason, Campolo said this during chapel on Sept. 7:

“You know you’re old when you wife asks you to go upstairs and have sex and you tell her you can’t do both.”

The joke rippled through our campus. While there was a general consensus that the joke was indeed funny, Olivetians everywhere questioned the appropriateness of the joke.

So, should sex be talked about in the Church?

Here is my answer: Unless there are those in the audience who have not had the birds and the bees talk, yes, yes and YES.

Not only did God command us to be fruitful and multiply, He dedicated a book in the Bible of all places to sex – for pleasure.

In Song of Solomon 7:8, a young man says to his bride, “I say I will climb the palm tree and lay hold of its fruit.” It’s no wonder Hebrew boys were not allowed to read it until after their bar mitzvah. If you’re not good with symbolism/poetry, I’ll give you a hint: The young man wasn’t talking about an actual palm tree and actual fruit.

Therefore, I think we can conclude that sex is good, in the context of that for which God created it – marriage. So why do we, the

Church, sweep the issue under the rug and act like it’s some heinous sin?

Instead of condemning sex all the time, what if the Church taught children about sex instead of public schools? What if we actually joked about sex in the context that God intended it to be? What if we were open about sexual issues?

One of my mentors, who now has children my age that are married, shared with me some advice she shared with her own children: When you get married, you will get to have sex thousands of times (she had actually calculated the approximate value).

So why not hold off on the one-night stand or proving your “love” to your boyfriend or girlfriend? Not only would you more than likely regret not waiting, but as some of my experienced married friends have said, sex takes practice and for some might even be painful at first.

I don’t know about you, but that advice hit home with me a lot more than some analogy like not getting too close to the “edge” (a.k.a. sex).

Perhaps by being more open about sex, we can not only prevent sexual immorality, but also save people from the heartbreak and confusion that occurs when they stray from God’s design.

Some good sex jokes could help too.


  1. Even though I would agree that people shouldn’t be shocked by references to sex at this age in their lives, I still think those references count as a sort of “PDA”. Even for a married couple, I would rather not hear about that aspect of their life. It is a private matter between the people committing the act of sex. The real reason I think Tony Campolo even brought it up was because it was a good way to captivate the audience.

    Let me give an example to back up my opinion. A while ago, there was a very popular Glimmerglass article about homosexuallity. Many students gave their opinions on this matter and it became heavily discussed. I had a number of conversations with folks on campus regarding this subject. For those that called homosexuality a sin, I asked if there were other reasons they had opposition to homosexual couples besides Biblical ones. One of the reasons I was given almost every time was, “I don’t want to see or hear about their PDA” or something along those same lines. Well I think that holds true for any couple, not just homosexuals, but heterosexuals, married, or unmarried. What people do in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom and be their own business.

    If you choose to wait until marriage, well great for you, but I’m not interested in hearing about it unless you really want to hear about what I’ve been doing in the bedroom too.

    1. I definitely agree that we don’t necessarily need to knwo about what happens in someones bedroom….does that mean we in the church are not interested in knowing what is happening in someones living room… alchohol and drugs?

      What I am trying to say is YES we dont need ot know about private lives of individuals but we need to address the social issues and sex is not about one persons bedroom but its a social issue. If we in the church are not open with our young people then we are just preventing the truth from being said…..because the media and our culture outside the church today is definitely talking widely about sex both in and out of married relationships.

      Our choices in life should be based on biblical priciples and unless the church talks about these issues the young poeple will never know the difference between the truth and what is projected as the truth!

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