Relationships: What to do about… “homies”

I’m not talking about what the Urban Dictionary defines as a “crowd of friends from the street, ghetto, hood, club [or] block.” I’m talking about something far worse: a roommate who goes home every weekend.

By David Timm

So, what’s the big deal? The problem, my friend, is that homies damage the essential college experience.

College should be a time to learn about life, how to live in a community and how to survive sleeping four feet away from another human being. But when your roommate is at home mooching off Mom, how are you going to learn to survive being constantly around him or her?

It takes about 21 times for a person to develop a habit, according to a study done by Florida International University. If we think along those lines, the question becomes: How are you going to get used to living with one or more roommates if they are never around?

As difficult or smelly as living in a community is sometimes, I believe it is vital to our growth as human beings. I believe that we are either progressing or declining at all times, and to be stagnant is to decline. There just is no in-between state where you get sort of good at living with other people.

Just like being good at any sport, living with people takes time and practice. When your roommate is gone two out of the seven days of the week, you aren’t going to get much better at living in community with others.

The same goes for homies.

Maybe you do have a legitimate reason for going home besides having a load of laundry and a hankering for Mom’s lasagna. But at the same time, think about what you are doing to yourself and to your college friends by never being around.

The weekend is the time when social things happen. Olivet has all sorts of events – movies, parties, plays and concerts – the majority of which take place on the weekends. You are going to want to get connected to the community and can only achieve this through being around for things that don’t happen during the week.

Here’s my recommendation, and it’s fairly simple: Go home for holidays, breaks and special occasions. Other than that, get used to sleeping four feet from another smelly human being.

I understand that it is much easier to go home and have Mom make your food and do your laundry, but someday she isn’t going to be willing to do that anymore, and you’re going to just have to deal with it.

Get used to living in a community. Unless you want to grow up to be a cat lady or hermit, you need to learn to deal with living with other people soon. Class is in session this weekend.

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